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Writer's pictureManuel Schönthaler

Ghosting - Don't hide yourself

Why we disappear when we could really change
Ghost with a shining glass ball

Ghosting is a well-known phenomenon today, mostly in romantic relationships or friendships where contact is suddenly broken off. But ghosting is not just about interpersonal communication. We often ghost ourselves too - especially when life gives us opportunities for real change. In such moments, we flee instead of facing the challenges that could really help us move forward. In doing so, we not only sabotage our development, but also block the path to self-acceptance and authenticity. Don't hide!


1. Ghosting as an escape from positive change


Ghosting often occurs when someone confronts us or supports us and honestly shows us what we could improve about ourselves. Perhaps it's about more self-care, developing new skills or the courage to break old patterns. Such situations can be uncomfortable because they bring our weaknesses or insecurities to light. Instead of taking advantage of the opportunity to develop, many choose to retreat and turn away rather than hold up this mirror to themselves.


This is where self-sabotage begins: by leaving the situation, we avoid the unpleasant work on ourselves. We flee from growth and stay in the comfort zone. But this apparent security is deceptive. What we see as protection ultimately keeps us small and prevents us from discovering our true potential.


2. The victim role as a convenient excuse


We often justify this withdrawal by portraying ourselves as victims of circumstances. "That was just too much for me", "The other person wanted to change me," or "I don't need anyone to tell me how to live." Such statements are typical thoughts in the victim role and offer us a quick explanation for why we leave the situation. But the problem is not with the other person, but with our own resistance to change.


This victim role makes us feel like we don't have to change at all. It is convenient because it allows us to pass on responsibility and claim that we have experienced "too much pressure" from outside. In reality, however, we sabotage ourselves because we don't dare to accept the confrontation and learn from it. It is a mechanism that prevents us from engaging in what really helps us move forward.


3. Perpetrator to ourselves: self-sabotage


Running away from change and taking on the role of victim leads to us becoming perpetrators to ourselves. This self-sabotage manifests itself in the fact that we deliberately block the opportunities that life offers us. When we run away from these opportunities, we deny ourselves the opportunity to grow beyond ourselves. Instead of taking responsibility for our growth, we sabotage our own development.


By resisting positive change, we remain stuck in old habits and entrenched patterns. We prevent ourselves from developing healthier relationships, more self-confidence and a more fulfilling life. Self-sabotage protects us in the short term from the effort that change entails, but in the long term it blocks us and makes us live a life that is less authentic and happy.


4. The blockage of our own development


Ghosting - both in relationships and towards ourselves - has profound effects. It not only blocks our own development, but can also be a reason why we find ourselves in similar, unsatisfactory situations again and again. If we run away from challenges and opportunities, we end up in an endless loop of stagnation. We avoid confronting ourselves and miss the opportunity to really develop.


Leaving the victim role and resolving self-sabotage are not easy steps, but they are necessary in order to move forward. Instead of asking ourselves why we keep finding ourselves in the same difficulties, we should muster the courage to embrace new perspectives and take responsibility for our decisions. The process may be unpleasant, but this is the only way to open the door to real change.


Conclusion: responsibility instead of escape


Ghosting is often a way to avoid unpleasant truths and hide from our own development. By running away, we sabotage ourselves and prevent ourselves from developing the potential that lies within us. The step of abandoning our own victim role and taking responsibility for our own growth requires courage and self-reflection. But only if we are prepared to take these steps can we resolve self-sabotage and seize the opportunity to lead an authentic and fulfilling life.


We have to ask ourselves whether we are ready to face the challenges of change to accept and regain control of our lives - instead of running away from the possibilities that could really help us move forward.


If you are really ready to make lasting changes to your life, you will find spaces here that will support you. Such as long-term coaching, programs and master classes, the Facebook mastermind or even self-encounters. You alone decide what is right for you!

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